12 March 2025
05.00 Awoke and realised that it’s 10 hours since I last ate! Nudge Mum into consciousness to alert her to this fact. She that was born in The Year of the Snake has a reptilian look to her eyes so I decide to retreat and return to sleep although it is hard when you’re on the verge of starvation.
07.20 I sense that Mum is awake, and yes she’s stretching and getting out of bed. I play possum and am the very model of a dog in deep slumber, but my every sense is alert to what will happen next. I hear the tap run, the kettle being turned on and then, joy of joys, the two doors that stand between the kitchen and my food bowl are unlocked. Playing it cool it is not until I hear the distinctive sound of metal on the granite bench top that I forego the casual approach and tear down the hall.
07.22.00 Breakfast is served. Poached chicken breast (shredded), with steamed pumpkin.
07.22.10 Breakfast is finished including a thorough clean of my bowl (twice). I head outside to avail myself of the facilities, and check the perimeter fence to identify and wildlife incursions overnight. It is evident that a possum has, once again, been snacking on Mum’s softer herb plants. She bought those protective metal cloches which are slightly obstructing my ingress and egress to the back door some weeks ago. Time to install them girl!
07.25 Mum is in position in the chair we share, sipping on her morning cuppa from the special mug her friend Therese gave her, and checking her mail. I give her the side eye but as I don’t officially take over the chair until after breakfast (rules set and enforced by me), I let it slide. I indicate that I would like the door onto the deck to be opened.
07.30 Shaun the Postie drives down the road but does not stop at our letterbox.
07.34 I growl softly at four wallabies who are quietly grazing near the house. They ignore me.
7.38 Great excitement! my friend Sneaker (Border Collie) who lives down the hill has news to impart. I listen intently with my head on one side and bark a reply or two in response. Conversation is bought to a sudden, and I would think unnecessary conclusion, when I am hustled inside. On reflection I think it strange that our friend Rosie (Kelpie) who lives between us didn’t have anything to say. Maybe she’s under house arrest as she hasn’t escaped to ours for weeks! Maybe I should call the RSPCA, but wait, they no longer take my calls. What did they say ‘melodramatic and entitled madam’.
08.05 Second Breakfast better known as M&D’s breakfast. I take up position on Dad’s right hand side hoping that a corner of toast might come my way. Absolutely no point sitting near Mum, she is immune to my pleading eyes and gentle nudges.
08.15 Chair work
09.55 The Golf has just disappeared from sight heading down to the beach with M&D aboard heading for their daily dunk. I have been left in charge of the house. I slide off my chair and do a reconnoiter of the living room. They are pretty diligent about putting things away these days but what’s that I spy on top of the divider between the kitchen and dining area. Bingo!, a brand new packet of jelly snakes waiting to be transferred to the car where they are used as travel snacks. I am never offered one when we’re on the road so I decide to redress that injustice.
10.45 Having a sugar high.
11.20 Morning tea with Dad. Look longingly at his biscuit. Am reminded that I have just eaten a packet of jelly snakes
11.42 Sneaker Alert! He has escaped and could (very probably) be headed my way rush out onto the deck and here he comes, up through the scrub. I bark joyously but perhaps a bit too soon. The Sneaker vehicle driven by his Mum pulls in at the bottom of the drive and poor silly Sneak is lured into the back seat with the promise of his frisbee.
11.45 – 13.15 Garden work. Dad works, I snooze in the shade.
13.15 Lunch. Repeat of parental breakfast routine. Salad so not really worth my anticipation.
14.00 – Post lunch rest with Dad
15.00 Garden work continued until a David Attenborough moment presents itself! An echidna is busy burrowing on the other side of the fence. I shadow him as he moves along, barking hysterically. Have I previously mentioned how this species takes ABSOLUTELY NO NOTICE of me, and how frustrating this is.? I am bundled inside with the word ‘ridiculous’ ringing in my ears.
15.10 Chair work.
17.00 Walk time! The highlight of my day. I have been ready for about 30 minutes but M&D fuss around and we are at least 4.5 minutes late in departing ‘Wainui’ which logistically puts connecting with all my friends at the correct time at risk. It’s normal for M&D to have a jelly snake when we park to sustain themselves for the walk ahead. Not today – oops!
Perfect walk; firm sand, smooth seas for swmiming and lots of fresh smells plus so many of my friends are there. I get high on excitement but maintain a quiet, trustworthy composure which lures Mum into letting me off my lead to frolic in the shallows with Norman and do Zoomies with Coco. It is a happy gaggle of dogs and adults that hit the big rock and turn for home. I wait until we are several hundred yards along the beach when I make my move. By the time I hear the words ‘where’s Ruby?’ I am well away into the scrub. A search party comes after me – I won’t repeat the words I heard – but cunning moi hid from them all for a full 45 minutes until I allowed myself to be found – I was after all tired and a little hungry.
It was a silent drive home. Once there I was bundled unceremoniously into the back garden to reflect on my ways. I was more concerned about when dinner might be served. Eventually M&D relented and I was served bread and water (not!) before I retreated to my bed. You could cut the air with a knife.
Thankfully M & D believe in the old adage of not letting the sun go down on your anger and as I drifted in and out of dreams in which I featured as Ruby the Explorer I was aware of being kissed goodnight and told what a loved, but naughty girl I am.
Tomorrow is another day!
With love
Rubes
P.S. You can’t get good help these days – I wrote this weeks ago but my assistant has only just realised she didn’t press ‘publish’ – honestly!
An Island Off an Island 