Let’s start with Dr. Izzy. M&D decided that I was in drastic need of some urgent training and psychological help. Behaviours perceived to be in need of correction were excessive pulling on the lead, escaping the perfectly pleasant house and yard area, total focus on food (allotted and scavenged), barking for attention and of course, my separation anxiety. So, the services of Dr. Izzy were called on. The registration papers caused Mum no end of bemusement as it was as detailed as a request for dual citizenship to North Korea.
Said paper work completed, the first contact was via a zoom call where M&D had to prioritise my behaviours with the aim of designing a plan of action. Excessive pulling on the lead got top billing. I was paraded in front of the camera and given a series of exercises to re-focus on the job at hand. Now forgive the cynic in me for thinking that M&D are a trifle naïve, but surely, they realise that I will do anything for a tasty treat, and boy were there lots of them. By the end of the session, I was feeling quite full! The training has continued and I must admit, I have been a star. Let’s see if the results are as good when we meet Dr. Izzy in the park in Kingston next week.
They’re funny buggers that M&D. They really think that I am going to blossom into some sort composite of Lassie and Rin Tin Tin. Let them bathe in the glory of their early success.
Complacency is a terrible thing. In order to disabuse them of my new responsibility, I had to, in the words of Baldrick of ‘Blackadder’ fame – “have a cunning plan”. Then, lo and behold, Dad got distracted and left the back gate open. I seized this golden opportunity and after a quick jaunt around the front garden took off across the road with Dad in hot pursuit. Staying just out of reach, I led him a ‘merry dance’. And then, Oh joy! I came across a putrid, stinking, green carcass which I proceeded to wolf down. Stupidly, I became too engrossed in my unexpected bonus, and let him get close enough to land a blow with a rather large stick. So, in response I rolled luxuriously in what remained of the carcass and took off down into a huge gully that ends up down at the beach. I lost my infuriated shadow and left him fuming. What an adventure! -pools of stagnant water, the odd startled wallaby, long reeds and grass and a plethora of enticing smells.
Two hours and I thought I had better put in an appearance back at home. I bounced up the drive but then saw the thunderous countenance on Dad’s face. My bedraggled appearance and malodorous smell did nothing to endear me to him and I was unceremoniously marched into the back garden to contemplate my wayward behaviour. I felt a little bit bad but I have to say that it was worth the opprobrium I sensed from Dad. My smugness was short-lived. Out came the shampoo, the towels and the cold-water hose and as I was relieved of my mud and my stench, I couldn’t help thinking that Dad was enjoying this far too much. The whole experience totally exhausted me and all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sleep it off. No such luck. He thought I might appreciate a walk on the beach as usual. Boy, I tell you what, that walk back along the beach was draining.
Inevitably the waiting game began – who would break the iciness first and restore the love and adoration? No contest – I won as always when Dad cuddled up to me on the lounge. All was forgiven – again.
An Island Off an Island 